but…

I’ve been hearing a lot of women in my universe say things like,

but we’re healthy, so I’m grateful for that.”

It usually comes after a string of complaints about how shitty 2020 has been, all the things we’ve had to cancel, and all the things that are different-bad because of COVID, the political landscape, the economy, etc. It’s almost like we feel guilty for being angry, upset, sad, disappointed, frustrated, anxious, scared, or depressed because of things like cancelled vacations, missed birthdays, postponed weddings, and a whole host of other things like dwindling social lives, lack of in-person school, non-existent work-life balance…

…but we have our health.

You’re right…many of us are lucky enough to have not been personally impacted by COVID-19. We should feel grateful for that.

But we can also feel sad and grieve the things we’ve lost – even if they’re things that aren’t as seemingly important as our health. You can absolutely feel sad that your vacation had to be cancelled. You can totally be upset that colleagues and friends have lost their jobs. You can be heartbroken over missed birthdays, weddings, parties, family visits, hugs, smiles, meals…

You can feel all the things you’re feeling…and also be grateful for your health.

I’m just here to give you permission to express both…simultaneously…without worry that you’re being a jerk.

This is really really hard. You don’t have to qualify those feelings with “but…”